Fortitude
“Fortitude is the ability to choose what is right even when everything inside of us and outside of us is telling us to run away in fear. It is the ability to stand firm in pursuing good in the face of danger and potential suffering.” – The Catholic Gentleman
For me, having fortitude means continuing to persevere in my love for the Lord, because I know that all that He desires for me is good, because, ultimately, He is good.
We live in a world where success is idolised; the outcome of every competition, decision, or performance matters only if I have accomplished it well. Due to this, we are often scared to believe or take the next step, solely due to worries of whether others will judge us or that we may fail miserably. But living out a life of fortitude means surrendering these chains of fear and disappointment that grip our hearts so tightly. And instead, moving in faith and standing firmly rooted in God’s providence in our lives.
Exercising fortitude sounds simple in times of great consolation and closeness to God. However, it is in the seasons of apparent dryness and desolation that I truly struggle to configure my life towards pursuing the Lord fervently.
I remember earlier this year when I decided to embark on FIAT 40 during Lent, desiring to labour more for the Lord so that I would seem more holy and hence, would be deemed worthy of more love. Although I was in holy places, going through the sacraments, and surrounding myself with truth, I grew frustrated with the Lord. It seemed that He remained silent to the desires of my heart, which I interpreted as, ‘God does not love me’. His continued silence made me feel unheard and abandoned in prayer, feeling as though God had passed me by.
Our quick assumptions and doubts can often lead us to be spiritually blind to His presence and movements whenever we meet a rocky path. As such, we are invited to reflect: What are the fears that pull me back from continually trusting in God, especially in the rough patches?
Despite my own fears of disappointment and abandonment, it was in this time of desolation that God reassured me through Dan Burke’s book, ‘Spiritual Warfare and the Discernment of Spirits’, which reads, “the moment we make a decision to fight this desolation, we allow God to begin to give us His strength and ability to break out of the darkness.”
Furthermore, He inspired me through Mary’s fiat. Her unwavering obedience and submission towards God’s plan gave me the strength to persevere in prayer and to courageously echo her words, ‘Let it be done unto me according to Your word’ (Luke 1:38). I was reminded once again that darkness and desolation are never the end of my story, because our Light and Hope exists. There is deep consolation in the truth that darkness is not a punishment, but rather, a gift, because it is in the darkness, without light or guide, that my soul learns to navigate only by its own longing, trusting, and desire for the Beloved.
As such, we are called to move intentionally to pursue the Light through practical commitments that we make in our daily lives. This can look like:
Setting aside time for 15 minutes of prayer every day – Prayer is simply the lifting of one’s heart and mind to God; it could just look like saying a simple prayer of thanksgiving on the way to work or school. Consistent prayer helps us to stay rooted in the voice of Truth.
Sticking to prior commitments – Especially in times of desolation, we might be tempted to give up commitments that we have previously made in times of consolation. Persisting with these commitments (daily Mass, prayer, adoration, etc.) helps us to follow the Lord even when it is difficult.
Living in remembrance – We often get caught up in the struggles that we are currently facing, which consume us in darkness, resulting in us submitting to the lie that God is not good. It is even more in this time that we need to recall who He says He is, and the goodness that He has already begun to do/done in our lives. In times where we may not be able to discern His voice, living in remembrance helps us to cling to the truths that He has previously revealed.
In all, I realise that fortitude finds its greatest fruit in the wrestling and the seemingly dark areas of our lives, where, as faithful disciples, we are called to greater surrender and faith in the Lord. Especially in times of difficulty, we should pray consistently and, actually, even more, because we then gain a greater understanding and perspective of God’s hand in our lives.
Reflection Questions:
When was a time that I decided it would be easier not to follow the Lord?
What are the areas of my life (comfort, judgment, fear, etc.) that hold me back from pursuing God?
How is God calling me to continue to persevere in prayer in my current season of life?