Feast of the Holy Family
Have you ever thought about what the ‘perfect’ version of your family might look like? During the Christmas season, with its focus on joy and the family unit, it’s easy to imagine this ‘ideal’ – but for many of us, the reality is often far from the vision. Our families can sometimes feel like they’ve been marked by brokenness and sin with misunderstandings, unhealed wounds, or even strained relationships.At this time of the year, we might find our attention drawn to the distance between our hopes and our circumstances.
Yet, in our longing and lamenting, we’re not alone. On this feast of the Holy Family, we’re invited not only to look at the model of perfection but also to recognise that Joseph, Mary, and Christ are companions in the reality of our own family circumstances.
Look at today’s Gospel (Luke 2:41-52), where Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem without his parents knowing. After a whole day passes, Mary and Joseph realise He’s missing. Imagine how that must’ve felt for them – the fear for His safety and wellbeing, the frustration of having this happen, the guilt of not noticing sooner. We might be quick to think of Mary and Joseph as “perfect” figures, disregarding their emotions given their unwavering faithfulness and their total trust in God. Yet, these did not exempt the Holy Family from experiencing the deep aches and pains that come with family life.
For most of my life, the Holy Family never found a place in my heart, nor did I find my place with them. Juxtaposed against the state of my own family, they seemed too far removed, another standard of perfection that was far beyond my grasp. Back then, their perfection was synonymous with my own broken dream of an ‘ideal’ family. It was only in the recent years of my life, in laying that dream in God’s hands, that I realised that it was so much more than that.
Perfection didn’t lie in their circumstances and capabilities, nor the eradication of anything that was less than ideal. The Holy Family’s perfection was in saying yes to God, everyday. Even if that meant welcoming an imperfect situation. It was saying yes to sacrifice, and to surrender. Perfection was saying ‘yes’ to the Cross and everything that would come with it – both the joy and the pain.
When they finally find Jesus, three days later, Mary verbally expresses how worried they’ve been. He responds, saying: "Why were you looking for me?...Did you not know that I must be busy with my Father’s affairs?” Both Mary and Joseph didn’t understand what he meant, but still they carried on – loving God, loving Christ, and letting Him love them. As we look to them, to their example, we’re posed with the same invitation – “will you carry on, too?”
On this day, may we, and our families, find a place with the Holy Family; our companions who show us how to embrace the less than ‘ideal’. How will you, in your own family, love in spite of brokenness, hope in spite of circumstances, and surrender in spite of uncertainty?
