Justin’s Testimony
Hello, my name is Justin, and I will be sharing my testimony on how God has transformed my indifference towards Him and His Church into becoming an Easter people filled with the joy that can only come from the resurrection of the Lord.
Growing up, my life seemed as ordinary as everyone else’s. Although I was Catholic, faith seemed irrelevant to me as I felt it gave me no useful benefits, or the pleasure and satisfaction I’d get from other activities. I found that especially when playing video games, which soon turned into a deep-rooted addiction, and led me to neglect many important moments and people in my life. From skipping school, which almost made me fail some of my classes, to not being present to my family members and friends when they needed me the most. Gaming also made me more temperamental and fashioned in me a toxic attitude towards the people I meet online. My person had been split into two – the Justin at Church and the one in the virtual world were vastly different people. Gaming became a god to me, and I pushed Him aside because praying to Him and attending Mass did not give me the pleasure that gaming does, so I left it behind me.
This continued until a few months before my enlistment, where I was faced with a difficult situation at home, where relationships had begun to fracture. It was a time of confusion, I grew increasingly afraid of what would happen to my life and of the uncertain future of my family. To others, I portrayed myself as doing fine and well, but internally, I was distraught and lost. During those dark times, a friend reached out to me to join her for parish youth community activities. I was hesitant at first, but eventually went, seeking answers that I felt only God could give me. There, I was met with peers who were on fire for God, it seemed to me that they were truly and fully alive, and for the first time in my life, I wanted what they had.
Eventually, with God’s grace, things at home began to improve with time. Furthermore, I also became more present in my parish youth group activities. I started to re-learn what it meant to be in right relationship with God, which is the most important. With a newfound zeal and love for God and my faith, along with new friends to journey with, I slowly spent less time gaming and more time with church. However, it wasn’t completely smooth sailing after that.
As time went on, I started to settle into a comfortable mere routine. Prayer became boring and dry, and I gave it up quickly. Once that feeling and desire to pray subsided, the time for prayer was taken up by other things. I started to revert to my old self and placed my pleasure and happiness first. However, the next pleasure I sought after, the more I felt that I was in perpetual emptiness.
However, this cycle finally ended when I entered University, and joined NTU's Catholic Student Apostolate. The people there inspired me with their deep faith and love for God. Once again, I found myself wanting what they had, and it led me to have a painful but honest realisation about the little faith and love for God that I had. I wanted to reorientate myself to God again as first in my life. Slowly, I began to re-cultivate my spiritual life, but with greater perseverance; choosing to pray even when I was tempted to forego it for other things. In those moments, the Lord gave me the grace and strength to choose Him, and to proclaim that He was with me in my struggle.
Now, whenever I struggle and prayer feels sterile, I choose to live in remembrance of all that God has done for me. These consolations help spur me on, along with knowing that I can turn to God, my best friend, whenever and wherever! With Him, I no longer feel emptiness but joy. A joy that cannot be contained but one that must be shared; that does not waver, but allows me to be content and at peace, even when there is suffering and pain that I’ve to endure. I’ve also found new freedom in Christ. A freedom that does not mean I can do whatever I want, but a freedom to choose God over anything else.
Gaming was what I placed before God, and it destabilised my life because that was not the proper order of things. For you, it could be other things that you place first before God, knowingly or not, and this is hindering your relationship with Him.Brothers and sisters, the Lord desires to work a miracle in you. Will you allow him to transform you into an Easter person today?